Advice for Single Christian Women with No Dates

Advice for Single Christian Women with no dates and no prospects

Cynthia Wilson James

3 min read

“I just wonder what you would say to a woman who is Christian with not one prospect. Most Christian men I have befriended ended up not committing. It is like they are scared to. Then the ones who aren't Christian want to get to know me. What am I to do? Praying for decades hasn't worked. I haven't been on a date since I got saved. Part of me wonders if it is worth it to wait for a man who loves God. They all seem afraid to be husbands. I give up...”

This question is from a Marry Over 40 By Faith follower. From my personal experience of marrying later and giving birth to children, I can understand this question.

I believe one of the reasons the Lord allowed me to be single until I was 40 is to relate to my older single sisters. I remember how it feels to wonder (if only for a split second) if the Lord has forgotten your prayer for a mate…a godly mate.

I remember how it feels when everyone else seems to have found the “perfect” mate. I remember how it feels to take control of the situation since God hasn’t given you the man you want when you wanted him. I remember how it feels to idealize marriage. Yes, God has given me a powerful memory.

Here are a few suggestions:


1) Share a laugh with a friend or watch a comedy show or movie.


According to research, laughter boosts the immune system by decreasing stress hormones and increasing immune cells. Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body's natural feel-good chemicals, and increases blood flow to the heart.

It's no wonder Proverbs 17: 22 states: A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength. (The Living Bible)



2) Pray for the husband that God is going to send you.


I remember the first time I heard this I was surprised. Then it made sense because unless the man God is sending you hasn't been born yet, he is facing challenges just like you. He needs your prayers. John 17:15 states:

My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one.

3) Be willing to travel.

Willing to travel doesn’t mean you have to fly across the country, but it does mean you can’t sit home day after day and wonder why God’s man for you hasn't shown up yet. Exercise Godly wisdom and safety first, but consider traveling to events in the next town or attending new events in your hometown.

Jacob had to travel outside of his home to find a wife. (Genesis 28:1-9)

4) Be approachable

This is a new suggestion that I'm convinced the Lord put in my spirit. No one likes rejection. If we are mentally healthy, we avoid physical or emotional hurt. Most men are not going to start a conversation with you if you have the "Stay Away" invisible sign written over your face.

Let me know what you think about these suggestions. You can discover other easy-to-follow tips in my ebook Marry Over 40 By Faith Tips. I've included questions with scripture references for self or group studies. Maybe, you just want to talk to someone, in confidence, who has walked a similar path...me. I also offer coaching and mentoring.